1. No dry humping

My business will not spam you, cold call, do the hard sell on you, try to get expensive memberships from you and WILL NOT share your information.   I will not sugar coat anything.... I will provide all the training and resources you need to change your health.  You don't need a lover, you need a trainer.

2. No excuses, no misuses

If you want to train, train.  If you are injured or sore we will together find a way to overcome it without missing a beat.  And if you do a class, a PT, grab a water, or take some equipment or clothing... pay for it.  It's good kharma and we all have to feed our families.

3. Dive on the granade

If there is a problem my instructors will deal with it immediately.  They will think creatively, take the bull by the testicles and scream it into submission.  They will beg, borrow, steal, study and ask questions to deliver the best service to you.  They will take full and mature responsiblity - immediately.  Likewise.  If you have a problem with your health deal with it.  Immediately (and refer to item 2).

4. No dicks allowed

No steroids, no drugs, no posing...  No hitting, spitting, or insults.  No women bashers. This is boxing.  Elbowing and creative martial arts moves that we don't teach will not be permitted on Erin's bags.  No throwing teddy in the corner if you don't get your own way.  Dicks will not be tolerated.  Healthy self appreciation, humility, not taking one's self too seriously, and a good laugh is always welcome. 

5. Just like butter

We operate smoothly under pressure.  Large class numbers, black outs, break ins, equipment failure - we will train you no matter what gets thrown at us.  If I say I am doing a class, I will be there.  Bleeding to death, broken limbs, vomiting aliens.... I will be there to train you.  'Leading by example' is lame rhetoric compared to the standards I have.

6. Train stronger not longer

If you have enough energy to do another class after one of ours, then you didn't:
1. Lift heavy enough 2. Fast enough 3. With the technique you where shown 4. With maximum effort. 
The fitter you are, the harder these classes are.  This is a fact.

7.  Would I choose you to go to war?

Do you have a larger sense of community? Do you think and act quickly? Want to better yourself? Value strength over skinny?  Find yourself your most viscious competitor?  Ahhhh yes, if it all went to poo I would want to go to war with you.  I would like to train with you.  The highest compliment I can give.

8.  This isN't the "NO SWEAT" Sweat Depot

I don't like air conditioning... full stop.  The healthy body is designed to regulate temperate, which equals sweat. Air conditioning slows your metabolism, lowers your immune system and makes you fat.  I don't like air conditioning.  If you aren't covered in sweat by the end of the class, what the hell sort  of workout are you doing?  Harden up!  Your embarassing your ancestors.  I only share my sweat with the finest.

9.  Good enough ain't good enough

I want great.

10.  I don't do meal replacements and skinny shakes

Let me save you some time......  I am not interested in multi level marketing meal replacements and weight loss systems.  I'm a bit old fashioned and just like real food in its rawest form.  Also don't mention calorie counting.... Please.  Don't do it.